Monday, 14 May 2012

I could tell you . . . . But wheres the fun in that?

I haven't been on here for a few days . . .  although we've been busy i have very little to tell you!

I could tell you that we've been to see our Accountant this morning, yes we have finally employed one! he seems to be very good and is already looking to save us money!!  i think he'll be dandy!

I could tell you about Grand Designs Live at the ExCel yesterday but really there's nothing to tell, anyone that's been to one of the Exhibitions can tell you its exactly the same every time you go or that  just before we left the car started playing up AGAIN . . .  We only had the Head Gasket replaced about 6 weeks ago for an arm and a leg AND  a small fortune! 

I could tell you that we took Inherited Dog for his walk on Saturday holding hands and eating Ice Cream!  I could tell you that Inherited Dog has been  . . . well odd . .  falling over and behaving strangely but i wont, partly because it was the same as the previous post about Inherited Dog rolling around in the mud, chasing his friends while we chatted idly about well nothing really! and partly because the idea of something being wrong with Inherited Dog makes me very protective and emotional, i don't think we as a family could cope with anything happening to him. . .  and because of ALL the rain we've had recently the river is incredibly, dangerously high and fast so Amazing Son (for safety reasons!) is not allowed on the water, so therefore our Date Night has been put on hold because its just not the same with Amazing Son in the middle of DH and I!! LOL

I could tell you that Amazing Son and I have done nothing but argue for the past few days - perhaps i need to rethink my parenting ways although he is such a good boy, maybe i should just allow him to explore and give him a touch more freedom, finally he seems to be yearning for it!!

So you can see it has been a few days full of nothingness! My friend is coming for lunch tomorrow and another lovely friend is coming up for the weekend so perhaps i'll have more to tell you next time! 

Life has been very busy but very quiet at the same time! with no news as i would say to my dad, when we chat! We both like no news!!

Upbeat post will resume at a later stage  - thanks for your patience!! lol

Hope you are all well x

Thursday, 10 May 2012

Love that dress!!

DRESS SHOPPING  . . . for "normal"* girls, the thought of dashing from shop to shop trying on beautiful dresses, twirling in the mirrors and generally being Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, with someone in the background shouting periodically "who ordered pizza??!"  This would draw excited eyes, clapping of hands and a hailing of a taxi, NOW from any "normal"** semi intelligent woman!!!   but no not me . . .  for me even the thought of having DH's credit card stuffed safely in my lovely pink  purse wasn't enough to lift my spirits!

DRESS SHOPPING . .. . . .  for fat people!!

Because what i really want to wear is: -   

Or one of the beautiful swishy dresses i have in my wardrobe!!  But i don't fit into any of them (all two!!) anymore!!

I HATE shopping for clothes, i've just never been very good at being a girl if you know what i mean?  I never know what to do with my hair.  When i put make up on - to me, i'm wearing loads but to everyone else i don't look like i'm wearing any!! See i try but it's futile!!  

So back to this morning, Amazing Son had felt poorly this morning so instead of school i dragged him to the chemist and while we were out we popped into every dress shop in the high street! i tried on dress after dress after dress, in red and blue and oh well you get the picture right??? But the only thing each dress had in common was that they each made me feel the size of an elephant with bulges and bits popping out in places that bulges really shouldn't been - very unsightly!!!

FAT PANTS!! this is the way forward, although a friend and I were discussing fat pants yesterday and we pictured me having VERY fat SHOULDERS and a rather chubby neck if i wear them, which still makes me giggle when i think about it!! but what the heck i got some anyway!! determined to be beautiful and make my DH proud of his stunning wife!! 

So by the time we left the same shop after going in and out a couple of times again, i was fed up! my back was hurting and my feet had actually gone on strike!! 

What to wear for my lovely friends wedding reception in a couple of weeks, . . . . . . "oh look mum what do you think of this??"  Yes it was Amazing Son that saw it!, ohhhhh! quick, in true Batman and Robin style standing with my hands on hips declaring "off to the changing rooms" actually we hobbled, (i'd say run but i'm sure you'd see straight through that!!)  again stripping off, Amazing Son saying well well well!! mum talk to me? please tell me you like it and that YOU think you look pretty??

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love it!! it's not what i was looking for but i really do like it and when DH see's it he will say "I knew you would get something like that!!"

I think i might need so more shopping experience so i shall leave the credit card snuggled safely in my purse for another shoe shopping day - well i do want to get some wedges or fancy flippy flops for beautiful friends wedding!!

But regardless of how big I get, I am going to look amazing for the wedding and my DH is going to want to hold my hand and kiss me making me do the leg thing!!  so life is good!  

Happy Shopping!!  

* i am occasionally normal!! i think! what do you think??

** Seriously I really am normal!  

Does anyone read this unedited version of the inside of my head??

Friday, 4 May 2012


Legend has it that Cassiopeia was a Queen who had a very bad habit of bragging about how beautiful she was to anyone and everyone that would listen!!  Similar to the witch in Snow White (Mirror Mirror on the Wall!!) She believed that she was the most beautiful woman in the whole world, the most beautiful woman alive, the most beautiful woman ever!! And she told people this constantly!.  If you knocked on the door of her palace, Cassiopeia would answer and say, "Please come in oh and look do you see how beautiful i am - am i not the most beautiful woman that has and will ever live, that you have ever seen??"  Her royal subjects grew tired of this, but she was The Queen what could they do about it??  One day, the Queen went too far she proclaimed that she was more beautiful than all the mermaids in the sea, and when the God of the Seas, Poseidon heard this he was furious, this was the ultimate insult. So Poseidon punished the self professed beauty Queen by placing her up in the sky to sit on her throne.  

This sounds cool but here's the kicker . . . . 

It was a trick . . . Poseidon had placed Cassiopeia near the Pole Star so that as the nights rolled on the stars moved slowly around, Cassiopeia makes this circle too and so spends half the nights upside down!! clinging wildly to that throne of hers, for fear of falling off, so that's her punishment - her "modest" punishment - was to be upside down on her head , trying to be beautiful at the same time!, even for her this must surely be impossible?

                                                                        THE END!

Do you ever wonder how you and your actions effects other people, you know like the domino effect? No, just me then!!  

For example . . . me and my Dashing Hubby should have met about 10 years before we did, we drank in the same places, we partied at the same clubs, at the same time, we lived in the same town, within a mile at one point, we used to have breakfast in the same cafe, his sister used to work with my brother and he would often talk about her, DH was often in the very same social club that i spent my entire adolescence in!!! BUT WE NEVER MET!!  An awful lot of my friends knew his dad because he ran a football club and coached (he was a bit of a legend!) so when we got together my friends said, "I know him and his family and if he's anything like his dad then he's a good man!!" virtually patting me on the back.  I loved his dad very much and truly believe that he is his fathers' son and that his dad was very proud of him although he never told him!  

I think this has a certain serendipity about it! Fete was plotting around us! I like this idea - like magic!!

But DH and I have discussed this many many many times, and always come to the same conclusion, we might have met when we were younger, even when he was married to his first wife, and i was nursing, but we needed to go through all the horrible adolescent drama stuff , (which we both did separately!) to become the people that we were when we met and for want of a better analogy "for the stars to align!" i know, i really am sorry! corny!! when we fell in love!  Which leads me very nicely onto telling you about my star, yes i am the proud single owner of a star!  Yes a star in the sky!! Yes really!!!

Going of subject for just a second, it's my blog!! BUT my DH named a star after me a few years ago, (i know how romantic!!) it's in the Constellation of Cassiopeia,  other than my wedding ring, this is way up there with my most prized possessions, not the star itself, the thought and love that would have gone into even considering a gift like that!  I think i shall show off just a little bit more and put another photo up - even though you can't see my star . . . . i promise it is there.

Cassiopeia (the upside down crown!)
I believe that through our life journey we meet people that are there to support us through a crisis, i know that for me this is definitely the case, i have had my share of crisis and my "stranger angels" have appeared, and supported me, talked things through with me, guided and directed me, fed and watered me and even got drunk with me because i had no idea what to do or which way to turn!  I believe that we have lifers, people that are there with us through thick and thin, no matter what, and i do not think that these people are necessarily your family!  i believe that there are people who come into our lives to do nothing more than reek havoc and destroy - i have known a few of these people, unfortunately we still have one in our life although we can do nothing about it, but i have now learnt to recognize them!!  Everyone we meet is there for a reason, to teach us something that we previously didn't know, as we are teaching others too, you know like in a computer game, you can only get to the next level once you have completed the last level and learnt all there is to learn, i believe that is how life works too!

I consider myself a strong person, i am always saying to my DH i do not need to be with you, i know that i can look after myself and cope without you, but i choose to be with you - i want to be with you, because you make me the best of who i am and i think that that is the biggest gift you can give the person you share your life with, the gift of choice!

I love my Dashing Husband, he puts up with my daily rubbish, makes me smile when i want to cry, makes me cry when i need too and lets me get away with murder, (obviously not literally!!) and he tells me when I'm wrong, BRAVE BRAVE MAN!! he is honourable and loving, although he does have some horrendously bad habits! Although he would probably prefer me to not discuss them. 

Luther Vandross has always been a very big influence to DH, and as his life changed and evolved he would find new meaning in his music, on his birthday a good few years ago, I took him to see Luther, i went all out, booked a Bentley and a driver to take us, Champagne . . . .  the works! His face was a picture!! Until his best friend jumped in the car and asked for a lift?? not quite the romantic road trip i'd planned, but life is full of little surprises, and it makes for a great story in the pub now!!  We even played "Bad Times With You" at our Wedding Reception and it's the main song on our Wedding Video.  The words are beautiful and i wanted to share them with you. . . . .

Bad Times with You

I thought some time alone was what we really needed
You said that is time would hurt more than it helps
But i couldn't see that
I thought it was the ends of a beautiful story
And so i left the one i love at home to be alone 
and i tried and found out that this one thing is true
That i'm nothing without you
I know better now and i've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, then good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, Than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

"Your Just too Good To Be True" was DH's theme tune for a few years when we first meet, i guess because he would come into my bar and always towards the end of the night when all my friends were there and everyone had had just that little bit too much to drink, he would stand on one of my tables, microphone in hand that he had either been given or stolen from my DJ, and my DJ would lower the music and DH would point and strut his stuff at me whilst singing at the top of his voice a little bit of Andy Williams . . !  All the time i would be hiding behind my bar pretending not to listen or looking, but secretly overwhelmed that someone saw me, and DH has always seen me, it is rather wonderful to "be seen" by someone!!


You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you
Pardon the way that I stare, there's nothing else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak, there are no words left to speak
So if you feel like I feel, please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you
I love you baby and if it's quite all right, I need you baby to warm the lonely nights
I love you baby, trust in me when I say, oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray
Oh pretty baby, now that I've found you stay,And let me love you baby, let me love you
You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you

I think for today i have spent more than enough time discussing the great man that is my DH and his Ego is going to be bigger than . . . ?? well I'm just not sure! but it is going to be HUGE!!!

Can i just say though that i never thought i deserved to be loved, (i don't know why i thought that!) but i still have odd days when i wonder why does he love me, what have i got to offer?? But he does and so there is hope for everyone our there, i am a romantic and think that everyone deserves to be happy.  I hope you are all happy and creating your own theme tunes and memories.

Is anyone reading me??

Thursday, 3 May 2012

Please Stop Making Me Laugh!

I keep making my Amazing Son laugh, it is causing a problem! 

I keep making him laugh so hard that he gets in trouble with his dad for being toooooo noisy!! opps!! 

He says i am a very funny lady! (rose tinted glasses??) 

Anyway he has just come home from school and his first question past hello mum how was your day; was . . . . . . is there anything to eat, can i have something from the goodie draw please?  As his hand was hovering over the handle, i could say no! that would shock him!  But of course i didn't.

He is on a growth spurt at the moment and is nearly taller than me and as cheeky as a monkey!  He is eating me out of house and home and costing me a fortune! i fill the cupboards up and DH and Amazing son come home and empty them!! ARGHHH! 

We gave Inherited Dog a teddy a few days ago because i thought he might get lonely when i'm not with him, and as he knows what kiss kiss means we thought it would be a good idea to call it kiss kiss and when we were with him he was gentle and well kissed the teddy, he cleaned it and loved it BUT when i went out (only for an hour!) kiss kiss had been ripped from limb to limb, his stuffing was everywhere and Inherited Dog was very and i mean VERY pleased with himself! just goes to show that no matter how gentle he is if he got hold of a cat or rabbit etc . . he wouldn't stop until they too were torn limb from limb! :(   this is why we do not take him on bunny watch!!

Just another collection of random thoughts - sorry about that!

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

The Only Ones Awake at 3am!

Tossing and turning! that's how i would describle our sleep last night - to say we were unsettled is THE understatement!!

So at 3.15 this morning we decided to get up have a cuppa (the oracle in our house!) and the plan of action was snuggle on the sofa (under the magic blanket!!) drink our tea and watch whatever we'd recently taped from the TV.

What really happened, I made us tea and a bacon sandwich because there's something very naughty about having bacon at 4 in the morning  (by the time i had made this decision it was yes 4am!)

We then both got our laptops out, well DH got his laptop and I took out my Netbook, or Netty! and we organised ourselves.  We talked about the kids - how are they? how much we miss them, will money/fuel/work/them allow us to see them soon? shall we do a car boot at the weekend, we could do with the money and clearing the loft out too. 

We discussed Amazing Son being nominated by his school for his continued outstanding performance and excellent behaviour to go to the Olympic Park's Aquatic Centre in a few weeks and how proud we are of him!

We discussed the merits of Bacon Sandwiches before DH said baby put netty down your snoring!!!! HAHAHAHA it was 6.50am - nearly time for Amazing son to get up although I'd heard his alarm go off at 6am!!! (might need to discuss that with him!) so very briefly my boys breakfasted, showered and got themselves ready for their day without me (redundant oh ok time to sleep!!)

So the boys have just left for their day of work and schooling and I look like her!!  Shocking!!! Not my best look ever!

So i shall take a cuppa and of course my netty up to bed, or shall i stay on the sofa?? decisions decisions!!

Night night x

A day to be forgotten!!

Yesterday - where to start!

Amazing Son had a dental appointment at 9am so at 8.30am we were out the door with our brollies braving the wind and torrential rain shouting over my shoulder to DH don't forget to lock up and set the alarm!

By the time we got to the Surgery we were sodden! Wet through to the core.  The dentist was a locum but seemed very happy and all was well,  Amazing Son had only been to the Orthodontist last week to check on whether or not the 2nd brace would be needed, so we knew his teeth were in good order (proud mummy moment) . . . .

"Mum can you walk me to school?"  how could i refuse such a innocent question, of course i can darling . . . (my back and hips were throbbing with pain and i was nearly crying but i really didn't want to let Amazing Son down! i am after all his mum).  So we walked a further 1/2 mile amazing son chatting and holding my arm (every now and then saying mum you should go home now, the rain is getting worse and your dragging your leg!! NO! a simple enough thought, perhaps i should go home but I should be able to walk my son to school without being in agony and to be honest i'm frightened that if i just give in to the pain then i wont ever do anything, and although i have some amazing friends that check up on me, i am also scared that i might be forgotten! how sad!!! How pathetic!!

Anyway i dropped Amazing Son off at the school gates at about 9.45 and started the walk home (don't forget the torrential rain!!)  I rang DH to see if he was local because i didn't think i would make it home but he was miles away on a job! so there i was rain running down my back, hair stuck to my face, in agony, unable to put on foot in front of the other, panicking, this is no way to be! i was crying like a baby but luckily because of the rain nobody would know other than me but at that point i felt helpless and I hate not being in control! it was overpowering and I was full of self loathing!


When i eventually got home (about 11.00) I sat on the bottom of my stairs for what seemed like an age, trying to ignore the throbbing in my back!

Over the last few days i had bought the ingredients for my flu busting soup (not that we had flu but the soup was yummy)

Cooking always cheers me up (the eating of my cooking especially!!), i think it's the creating of something out of nothing that i like so much, so i thought this would be a very good idea . . . . to make my soup!  so i got out the ingredients and began chopping, peeling and slicing . . .  . . .

Shame its not a scratch and sniff blog because the smells arhhhhhh wonderful!!! (i think its the ginger, something so comforting about ginger!!)

  • 1 Red onion
  • I Green Chilli
  • 4 Cloves of Garlic
  • 1 Punnet Shitake Mushrooms
  • 2 Inches of Ginger
  • 2 Handfuls of goji berries
  • 3 Sweet Potatoes
  • Veg Stock

Seriously the smell alone when this is cooking would scare away bacteria and make you want to grab a bowl and wait patiently by the pot for the soup to finish cooking spoon in hand!


Flu Busting Soup pre blender!
I had taken my medication when i got home from walking Amazing Son to school including my large dose of Diazipam (forgotten about that!) so with my lovely soup on the boil, i awaited for my amazing son to come home and the Virgin man to turn up because we'd had no internet for 3 days! (Groan!!!) I (foolishly!!!) decide to lie down (i know i can hear you groan, don't do it) however i manage with super human effort to stay awake for the Virgin man and then more super human effort was required to stay awake to let Amazing Son in - we both checked on my soup and it is simmering away just nicey! it was at this point i now reaslise i should have taken evasive action!!!

Amazing Son says "you look tired mum come on, come and lie down!" he says all of this as he gently places me on the sofa and puts the magic blanket over me . . . .

OH DEAR LORD Please No tell me i DID NOT FALL ASLEEP!!!  (panic is sweeping through me tears are stinging my eyes!!!)

OH no i smell burning . . . . YES you've guessed it, my lovely soup, but i only fell asleep for. . .  i have no idea how long i was asleep for . . .  the bloody magic blanket!! when did you get home, i stare accusingly at DH (seriously where did he come from?) - my soup! what a mess its black!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all the while the tears that had been threatening to spill over all day are now running down my cheeks!

Cuddles and Oh baby it doesn't matter followed but dont you see, it does matter, i can't even walk my son to school without feeling broken afterwards - i'm on medication that knocks me out and i am totally not pulling my weight, i feel useless! I do not contribute to our family! and that it that!!

Oh bugger - pizza it is then. . . . . . .

sod it i'm off to bed!!

I really wish i drank because i could have done with getting very drunk!!